Badly Recapped: Blossoms 666 #5

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CULLEN BUNN – story

LAURA BRAGA – art

JACK MORELLI – lettering

MATT HERMS – coloring

 

Synopsis in a Sentence: Cheryl and Jason use treachery and knives to better their odds at becoming the Anti-Christ.

 

This is it! The big conclusion to Archie Horror mini Blossoms 666! Except it isn’t. Wah-wah.

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If you didn’t think I’d be using Riverdale GIFs during this review, you know nothing Jon Snow.

 

We start this final (ahem) issue with Dilton in jail contemplating suicide, Archie and Veronica under a spell to make out, Julian Blossom consoling Betty who saw said make-out session, and Ethel taking Jughead to the altar of Abaddon in the woods. And that’s just page 1 folks.

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Ethel shows a shocked Jughead the Abaddon statue, then pulls out a knife, presumably to sacrifice our crown wearing compadre, but instead falls on the blade herself after Juggy refuses to sacrifice her.

Time to catch up with Cheryl and Jason, who are lounging around a pool pondering how to get rid of new rival to the horns, Julian. Cheryl gets pulled under water by a pool cleaner- the mechanical kind, not the sexy kind.

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Dance for me Pool Boy!

 

Where was I? Is it hot in here? Oh yeah, Cheryl’s getting attacked, and Jason actually jumps in and saves her, even though they are currently locked in a battle to become Anti-Christ. But since they’ve been siblings all their lives, and twins at that, they’ve formed a pact to get rid of new-to-the-scene bro Julian first. Still, Jason had a golden opportunity there to narrow the field, but I digress.

Meanwhile, Betty and Julian decide to go to the police station to question Dilton, only to find him hung in his cell. Alas, poor Dilton, we hardly knew ye. Betty runs outside and bumps into Jughead, who tells her Julian is trying to become the Anti-Christ, at the behest of the other two Blossoms. Yep, Jason called in his favor from earlier in the series. Betty slaps Julian upside the head, and now he doesn’t have his key pawn in the game.

Julian goes home and tells his bro and sis that was a dirty trick, having Jughead tell Betty the truth. And then Cheryl and Jason take turns stabbing him. Even though earlier, in this very issue, they kind of ruled out blatant murder. Which is why they had Jughead tell Betty, to one-up Julian that way. This part really doesn’t make sense, but they laugh it off saying mom and dad will be mad. Really?

We close up with some bizarre panels of Jughead and Betty at Pop’s, then the twins teasing each other about what they’ll make the other do if they win the title. Oh, and Julian’s corpse in the morgue sitting up. That’s it. And the obligatory The End Question Mark.

Overall Blossoms 666 has been a worthy addition to the Archie Horror titles. Cheryl Blossom is one of my favorite characters, and I liked the Anti-Christ angle of the book. This final issue however left me scratching my head at times and wishing there was a more definitive ending, while still leaving room for future volumes. Otherwise, Cullen Bunn did a good job with the scares and cast of characters, and Laura Braga’s art was top-notch. I hope this team comes back and we get true “winner” between the devilish duo of Riverdale.

 

6.5/10

 

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