Badly Recapped: Tank Girl #5



ALAN MARTIN – writer

BRETT PARSON – artist & letterer


Synopsis in a Sentence: TG & co. spoof superheroes in a brawl against a brainwashed Barney.


It’s a new mini arc (titled Tank Girl Forever) in the ongoing Tank Girl series, and we’re thrown right into the battle. In this corner, Tank Girl, now almost a literal tank-girl, decked out in an Iron Man-inspired costume, complete with cannons, tank tread skates, and a cape that is always the size it needs to be for the job at hand. And in the other corner, a vampire Barney? She floats, conjures and throws trash out of midair, and is pissed at Tank Girl for some reason. In fact, both combatants have some sort of memory loss going, or so it seems.


We leave the fight to get some quick exposition about how we got to this point from Stevie, who reminds the reader of the end of the last mini, when the gang stepped into a bizarre light and disappeared. They awoke to find themselves in others’ bodies, striving to put right what once went wrong… Wait, that’s not right.


“Oh boy.”

Back to the battle, TG is getting her ass handed to her when- up in the air! It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Jet Girl! Flying. Without a jet. Yep, she’s a superhero-type too now. TG blasts Barney with a cannon and the two “heroes” go to the bay where she landed. When they arrive, Barney levitates out of the water and sends a stream of Scandinavian sea herring at our armored heroine. But wait! A cyclone of water engulfs the villainess, and that can only mean one thing- Aquaman! I mean, Sub Girl!


No respect.

We get a few more pages of fun fighting, and just when it looks like Barney is down for the count, a Light Phoenix (???) appears, knocking our heroines for a loop, and forcing Tank Girl to point her arm cannon at her own face. This is where chapter one ends, with the promise of finding out who this new character, named “Joanie,” is.

Tank Girl Forever’s first issue gives fans more of what they’ve come to expect from the last handful of series, and that’s a great thing. This opening shot may be a tad generic, just like the genre it’s spoofing, but Martin’s witty dialogue and Parson’s gorgeous art don’t disappoint. This fan truly wishes the current Tank Girl team could keep putting these books out “forever.”




“Better Off Dead” Drinks

In retrospect, perhaps this wasn’t a great pick for a Valentine’s Day movie, but it was a lot of fun.

Shot: Perfectly Good White Boy, something that’s a real shame to see in the back of a passing garbage truck.

1/2oz each white creme de menthe and cream

Cocktail: Gin (I’m Really Sorry Your Mom Blew Up) Rickey, a mix of another great movie quote and a classic cocktail. We’re so clever.

Fill a highball glass with ice. Add 2oz gin. Squeeze in juice of half a lime and drop spent lime into the glass. Fill with tonic and stir. Float 151 rum.


Why flamingos? Why not? This movie is nuts- anything goes! Check out our thoughts on the drinks, movie, and much more on podcast 139, here:

“Space Jam” Drinks

Shot: Rim Shot, named after the ‘ba-dum, tsssh’ sound a drummer makes after a bad joke. Or just whenever a basketball hits the rim of the hoop. Ba-dum, tsssh.

3/4oz rum, 1/4oz cantaloup juice. Garnish shot glass with cantaloup ball.

Cocktail: Space Jam, and I really can’t remember how we came up with this name. I’m sure it took awhile though.

Place a frozen orange juice ball (they sell molds, and I highly recommend purchasing) in a small rocks glass. Add a dash of orange bitters and fill with vodka.


So, after 20 movie submissions, several polls, and hundreds of votes, we ended up with “Space Jam” as our listeners’ choice to review for episode 100. Us being us, we wound up not reviewing it until episode 102 and came up with two drinks based on basketballs. Give a listen here: